Living Local

The two of you inadvertently paid your respects to the Beach Uncle, because your lifestyle took you to there at the time that it took you there, the very first time. Beach Uncle was sitting where he sits, and the two of you, for the first time, walked out toward the beach, and just before your feet hit the sand, you saw him, he you, and we all greeted each other. Moments later, you were feeling the sand of the beach between your toes, and that beach is your home-beach.

For nearly two years, the two of you run by Beach Uncle nearly every time you go for a run, and he greets you, "Good morning," like he does every passerby, and you greet him back, always with your best smile.

One month before the two-year mark of living here, the two of you are out on your run, like you do, and Beach Uncle is sitting where he sits as you run by, 

"Good morning," Beach Uncle greets, as he does.

"Good morning," you wave with a smile,

like you do;

the bodybuddy/lifemate ahead of you,

you cannot hear whatever the bodybuddy/lifemate says to Beach Uncle,

and then Beach Uncle christens you,

"You guys are late this morning," Beach Uncle ribs with a chuckle, and you smile back and shrug.

At the end of the run, out on the rocky ledge, you tell the bodybuddy/lifemate about how you feel as though the Beach Uncle has christened you. 

You feel the responsibility to pass along a few instructions for your Home Beach, especially since you've been seeing/reading a few local headlines about this beach, promoting it as a local hot-spot, and as a person who grew up in an environment of "locals" in a tourist "hot-spot," you loathe the idea of a journalist outing that which ought to only be known by those who reside here, year round, etc., and so, you decide to outline some instructions.

[DISCLAIMER: You do not consider yourself a "local," here, because you weren't born here, but you are a resident, now, and so there are different rules for locals and residents and tourists, and students would be considered residents until/unless you live here long enough to be recognized by locals as a local or you leave only to return as a tourist from time to time, etc.]

On Using "America's Best Urban Beach"

1. If you're a tourist, don't.

a. Yes, you can walk your ass out there and enjoy the place, but don't hunker. It's not your beach. Think of it more like a tourist attraction where you can look upon the locals and residents, etc.

b. If/when walking by, FOLLOW THE RULES; they are posted everywhere; DO NOT FEED THE BIRDS 

2. If you're a new resident, you must greet Beach Uncle before ever stepping foot on the sand.

a. If you don't know who he is, you haven't lived here long enough to use the beach

b. If you don't know where to find him, you haven't lived here long enough to use the beach

c. If you don't know when to find him, you haven't lived here long enough to use the beach 

d. Yes, one of the cats is his friend, so treats probably never hurt

3. Once you reach resident status, you have a responsibility to clean up the "green" fish netting.

a. If you think this substance is seaweed, you are a tourist, see Point 1. 

b. Since Beach Uncle has christened the two of you, the two of you officially feel this responsibility

4. Thank you for taking this seriously.