I finally have some time off after a months-long (i actually think twas more like six weeks, but i do not care enough to sit down in front of a calendar and figure it out) stint of six-day jobweeks, and I have a lot of energy because my base-level energy level as a full-time jobber is higher than it used to be as a part-time jobber, so I'm trying my damndest to rest. And for the most part, I've been resting well.
The thing, however, that I realized—yesterday—is that the one day that I set aside to practice a bit'o "self-care" ended up being the day that has exhausted me the most. The reason :: well, I have a bodybuddy/lifemate, and he basically does all of the taking care of me. I've—obviously—always known that he's good at taking care of me, in a general sense, or else, we wouldn't really be here, but I guess I never really understood exactly how much of my self-care he does for me.
For example, I had to make myself something to eat when I got hungry. I had to draw myself my own bath. I had to steam my own oat milk for a matcha latte. I had to pull my own shots and steam my own oat milk for an espresso latte. I did a sink-load of dishes. I had to decide what to watch on the tv. I had to turn the tv on, along with all of the equipment that goes with it. I had to load my own bowls. And I had to get myself off!
By the time the bodybuddy/lifemate finally made it home (he didn't take any days off during my days off, cause he only ever works three days a week, cause really, he's a house-husband who jobs to stay busy), I was exhausted.
Do I sound "out of touch" &or "tone deaf" yet?
I am also a child-FREE adult, so yea.
During this time when I'm supposed to be relaxing and resting—my mind especially—I tend to watch a lot of movies. Generally speaking, I watch more tv-delivered entertainment than I'd like to admit, but I also know that I don't really watch that much, when compared to "the-average" consumers, etc. Nevertheless, I typically watch a lot of tv-delivered content when I have vacation-esque freetime, and now that I'm thinking of it, I've technically quit my pursuit of my dreams, so I don't really need to accomplish anything productive aside from showing up at my fucking dayjob so that I can log those hours for which I am paid a pittance, etc.
Where was I? Movies, right.
So, we watched Guardians 3 and Wakanda Forever over the course of the past two or three days. Sorry, we re-watched them. We've obviously seen them already; we are of the millennial generation, after-all, lol.
Guardians 3 is so fucking sad, and Wakanda Forever is so fucking sad. The two are some serious downers, but then, obviously, they end on the bright side *iroll*
I thought I had a point, but Nothing is forming in my mind.
Ever since I started to use the *left swype* on Threads I'm finally starting to be delivered different voices. Call yourself an "influencer," &I'm out! And some of those voices are from some seriously angry adoptees. It's refreshing to see them online, and it's fascinating to hear what they have to say. Like all things, every individual adoptee's experience will fall on some spectrum from Horrible to Wonderful, and it makes me wonder how many adoptees see these types of posts and then are able to "judge" their own experience more accurately. I am familiar with my own experience, and obviously, anyone can say just about anything about their own experience, but since nobody has exactly my same experience, I am finding the task of "relatability" the issue when passing by other adoptees on socials.
We find common ground in being adopted, and then each of us breaks off atop individual pieces of an immensely-personal experience. If you had a "horrible"-side experience, there's no real "common enemy," an entity toward which we can air our grievances. Each individual circumstance has tailored an enemy for each of us who has had an experience that falls on the "horrible"-side of neutral. Those who fall on the "wonderful"-side of neutral have no complaints, theoretically.
And so, I find it challenging to read the various ways in which variously aggrieved adoptees view the world. I, obviously, have my own grievances, but they are not systemic; they are personal. I also think that there's a vast difference between domestic, same-race adoption and domestic/international transracial adoption. The two experiences cannot be compared. Whether or not an adoptee experienced foster care cannot be compared. Whether or not an adoptee experienced an orphanage cannot be compared. And then, obviously, if a person is "adopted" by a family member, there should be a different word for it, cause this is a wholly different circumstance and experience.
In short, there are so few comparisons that can be made about two adoptees, much less all adoptees, that the issue no longer becomes about the experience of being adopted but rather, the experience of unwanted pregnancies.
Wow, this is not where I thought I'd end up. I sat down to write with nothing about which to write, and this is where we find ourselves? Fascinating. Especially when considering that the tune, "Oh when the saints [bah dah duh dah] come marching in [do do do doo] oh when the saints *clap* come *clap* mar *clap* ching *clap* in [do do do doo]" etc., keeps pestering me, and I'm seriously considering this lyric for the title of this post, etc., but I shant. I might. No, I shant.
Obviously, the whole issue of adoption started trending on socials, undoubtedly, because of a certain poster-child of the recently-ended XXXIII Olympiad, etc., and so it's a bit annoying that perhaps some of these adoptees are making themselves visible because adoption is trending as a topic, as opposed to being spotlit because they've always spoken about adoption, etc. *sigh* Fucking-socials fucking-ruin everything. *ugh*
Well, this penned out to be some mediocre nonsense *shrug* I'm on vacation! Until next time *peace*