i'm obviously watching some of the Olympics (it's too much, and i just don't care that much), and honestly, it's making me feel a lot of feels, and some of the feels are thoughts that are not being readily shared, cause, well, it's ... what's the word ... ass-holey.
never. the. less.
there's an overwhelming theme of this Olympics, from my point of view (butt-fucking, duh!), that has do something with some rule change in the NCAA. i've never watched collegiate athletics, except for the many times i attended various sporting events while in school, etc., however, i never spend any free-time watching college sports on broadcast television or the internet, now, as a taxpaying adult.
this lack of mine has made me realize that not only have women been fucking killing it in sports but also, colleges around the U.S. have been pulling in an immensely talented international pool of women athletes. the sheer number of women competing is a story in its own right, but the fact that so many of these women are able to represent their home countries for the first time and WIN is something else entirely.
this NCAA/Olympics situation points to the obvious downside ... the U.S.A. is an incredibly rich (as in tons of money money rich) country, a country to which the world's talent flocks, i.e. "brain drain," and this has been the status quo my entire American life.
this NCAA/Olympics situation points to something less-obvious (to me, as a non-participant) ... women, around the world, have been choosing their education over professional athletics, and they are professional-level athletes nonetheless.
as stated above, i do not participate in the NCAA culture or whatever, thus, i have zero intellectual knowledge about the situation that changed that allowed NCAA women athletes the opportunity to participate in professional arenas &or just the Olympics. what i do know is that something changed and now all of the women who were participating in NCAA athletics, meaning they are enrolled in a U.S. college, which means that they are obtaining undergraduate &or master's level degrees while continuing to pursue their athletic careers, are now able to also participate in the Olympics.
this was a groundbreaking decision.
this is a mind-blowing circumstance.
not only is the U.S. collegiate system pumping out incredibly intelligent women from around the world, they are also pumping out incredibly talented athletes from around the world.
the importance of the Olympics has changed for women.
for the world, it's a continued tough reality.
there are simply some continents that are not being represented in the top ten medal counts, and we're not supposed to interpret this in any sort of way, lest it be supremacist, elitist, etc., but the math holds that there are simply some countries that are gaining even further ground on the rest of the world, and that we're still quite a ways away from the top ten in overall medal count being evenly distributed among all of the world's habitable continents.
but we're certainly not-supposed to talk about that.
just like we're not suppose to notice the race of all of the athletes who win for the white countries.
Hillary Clinton posted a thread on Threads about this Olympics hitting gender parity.
nobody's going to do the math on winnings distributed by race, cause it is where one trains that matters, not one's race or nationality.
if we did a full tally on all of the medals won at the Olympics this go-around, it'd be interesting to see how many medals were won by athletes who live and train in the U.S.
nobody's going to do that math cause, well, it'd sorta defeat the entire spirit/purpose of these Olympics, will it not?
And then, there's Kamala Khan.
we watched The Marvels the other day cause we were browsing our new access to Disney+ (we pay for internet access and receive a cable package for free, and after living here with this new internet service provider for one year, our cable package has been "upgraded" twice). we saw it when it came out, but it was such a chaotic time in our life, and our "caring about" movies, in general, is low, these days.
never. the. less.
Ms. Marvels' energy is exactly what i need in my life as of late. she's naive. her ignorance is bliss. she's living in the moment because she's living for the first time. she's young and brave cause she's full of conviction but lacks experience. it's a beautiful outlook, especially when juxtaposed with Captain Marvel's general intensity. and then Monica sacrifices herself and sets us up for more multiversal blah blah blah, etc.
i do not wish to be young again. being young is terrible. i do wish, though, that i could feel that light and airy feeling of zero responsibilities. *sigh*
And then, there's Kamala ... Harris.
i tend not-to write about women i respect, cause, generally speaking, my writing is oftentimes, not-respectful.
never. the. less.
i feel no respect or disrespect for the 2024 Democratic Presidential Nominee. i feel nothing about Harris. she does not excite me. she does not disappoint me. she's just there, as the Nominee. i don't even know what i would write if forced by some entity holding the money bags, etc.
i also lack any sorta feeling about the Republican Nominee.
honestly, it's whatever, cause like, why we pretending the popular vote counts?
And then, I feel trapped.
before i started the job by which i am currently employed, i had this irrational (read: *beezed*) fear of said job. i kept thinking to myself, "If I take this job, I'm going to be trapped there, forever, unless I can find a replacement when I want to retire." i literally feared the idea that if i took this job, i would not be able to leave unless/until i found my replacement, etc.
this smeezy idea sunk its teeth in me, and for the past year, i have been mentally struggling with this idea that i am trapped there, forever.
And then, the bodybuddy/lifemate said something.
we've been talking this mental loop out ever since we finally put a finger on it a few months back. and i got frustrated that the bodybuddy/lifemate doesn't help me figure it out more; why he doesn't help me fix it. so, over the past few weeks, he's been double-air signing me and saying all sorts of different things to help me see my life from a different perspective than the mental "trapped" loop i've been suffering for nearly one full calendar year.
he finally said the thing some time in the past, not too long ago, after i grilled him on why he doesn't understand my feeling trapped.
"Why," he asks, "Why would I understand your feeling of feeling trapped? We don't really know how to stay put."
And then, the bodybuddy/lifemate made something.
 |
| this is (nearly, as some places are too near each other) everywhere we've lived and been since 2013 read the deets on my "... in projects ..." page |
And then, it clicked.
but the habitual loop loops. i'm simply not-yet strong enough to maintain that mental place, but the heavy revelation finally hit me in full just last friday, so patience, with my own self, is on order.
Until next time *peace*