The Death of My Misery Is Coming

this is the overhead interior fluorescent lighting
[zero natural light]
of the elevator bank area of our condo
&i thought i'd see how the lighting looked
&yea
not bad, eh?
unedited
no filter
raw image
no makeup
(i literally don't even have any)
no "work" done
overhead
indoor
fluorescent lighting lit
front-facing phone camera selfie
lol

What's your Budget, Babe?

What is a List but a prophecy of one's future?

There's no hotter question than, "What's your Budget?"

A question like this tells me three things:

1. You've got money.
2. Cause every penny you spend is being tracked.
3. You're a Babe.

So, how do you become a Budget Babe?

Well, first things first, you gotta make a List, basically, for everything that you ever want to purchase, like ever, for any reason, always. For example, you could make a List of everything you want to eat this week, a List of everything you want to watch this week, a List of everything you want to not-do this week, a List of everything you have, etc., etc., etc., a List of things of which you could make a List is endless.

A List, while prophecy, is only potential. It is not fact or fruition, for it is what can be. A List is prophecy like psychicry, it is not what will be; it is what can be. It is potential. 

A List becomes Budget when you add in a bit of reality ... the Cost. 

When I was young, I remember thinking that a Budget was about how much money I had to my name, and that the money in my pocket determined my Budget for whatever I was trying to do, that there was somehow this "magical number" that created a "budget," and if I didn't know what that "magical number" was, then I couldn't create a "budget," cause how am I supposed to "just know" how much money I need for something?!? And I know that this may sound crazy, but it's how I thought, because nobody put it to me in plain english, ever.

What I've learned, however, is that a Budget is anything you need it to be. 

A Budget is simply knowing how much money you need for whatever, everything, lol. 

A Budget is merely a List along with the Cost of every item on that List. 

A Budget is a plan, an outlay, a guide to get you to where you are trying to go. 

There are simple Budgets and complex Budgets. 

You write/create a Budget so that you can both see how much your endeavor is going to Cost, 

and to create a plan for how you will cover those Costs. 

There are prolly a million ways to Build a Budget, and here are two ways that I do it:

• Start with the amount you want to spend, say $100, and everything you buy must fit inside that number
• while this is an ideal strategy for daily life, it is not always the best strategy for new endeavors, trips, business startups, etc., because you cannot control the price of goods, cause while the cheapest option might make the Budget look good, right now, the item itself might destroy the Budget in the future, if the quality is too low
• I use this strategy after I have become very familiar with the prices of the goods I buy for daily life, for instance, most of our walmart trips fit inside our "daily food/domestic goods budget," cause The Budget is now set to the prices that we know we will pay for our "daily food/domestic goods," and so, when we head out to walmart, we already know how much everything we're gonna buy is going to Cost, and so The Monthly Budget has already been set to cover this Cost, and so, every time we go out for these types of goods, we have The Budget amount to spend, and if we want something additional that The Budget does not include, well, that thing is going to have to wait until The Budget expands to accommodate this Cost, or I gotta give up something in The Budget, now, and use that "leftover" cash for the new/additional item, or I can use/save up my personal allowance and buy the thing myself
• Start with a List of everything you need, go find the FLOOR PRICE of every item, and then create the Budget Number
• This is the strategy that I am going to outline below

So, start with your List. 

What kind of List are you making?

For the sake of this piece, let's pretend you're preparing for a class or something, an event, or a trip. You need some stuff, and you know what most of the stuff is that you need, but maybe you also need to think of some other things that you need as well, and you have some money, but not a ton of money, but you have ways to cover some of the expense that you might not be able to cover yourself, and so, how do you prepare a List like this, with these types of variables?

Identify your Variables:

Has a List been provided for your endeavor?

• If yes, create a List of your own (with your own methodology; i prefer pen and paper, but i am old, so i am told *eyeroll*), give it a title, and copy down all of the items on the List provided. Even if you have an item or two on the provided List, copy all of the items onto Your List.
• If no, you're gonna have to do some extra work, simply start by titling the page "A List of Shit I Need for This Thing," and then you're gonna have to sit with Computer to help you think of everything you might need, realistically. Do not let Computer lead you. You're the Boss.

How much cash money (how many dollars in real dollar figures, no credit card swipes) do you have to spend on this endeavor?

• If the answer is zero, get a job.
• If you can do a rough top-of-the-head math on the items, do you have "enough"?
• If you can't do a rough top-of-the-head math on the items, do you think you have "enough" based on how much money you have?
• Do you have some money but not enough for everything?

How much "additional" money (credit cards, family, a donor) do you have?

This is not a "total amount" of money at your disposal.

It is mostly a check on your own money-situation, a chance for you to reflect on how much money, exactly, is available, that you know of, at your fingertips.

Okay, now we're going to make our List!:

I'ma Be A Vet Tech, Bitch!

Where are you headed:

Vet Tech Class

Was a complete/partial List provided:

Yes

How much cash money do you have to spend: 

I think I have "enough," but I don't wanna spend all my money *weeps*

or

"enough"

or

none

or
some

How much "additional" money do you have access to: 

zero dollars, because I don't want to use my credit card, and I don't want to ask my family

or

someone has offered to match my available funds up to $200

or

"enough" cause i'll charge it

Class-provided List Items:

• Scrubs - $
• Watch - $
• Comfy/Supportive sneakers - $
• Stethoscope - $
• Over-the-ankle socks - $
• Locker lock - $
• Textbook - $
• Lab fee - $
• Typical classroom supplies (notebook, pencils, etc.) - $
• (one assumes you already have a laptop, in this day and age *fingerscrossed*)

Additional Items (if you don't have them already):

• Waterbottle - $
• New underwear - $
• Manicure (cause the lady said not to have too-long of nails or whatever) - $
• Tote bag - $
• Lanyard - $
• Comfy-after-class clogs or something - $
• Zip-up hoodie or whatever approved warm layer - $

Okay, so we've gotta pretty nice List of shit we gotta buy. Some of the stuff is obviously not necessary, but I want it, cause I need it, and if I can afford it, I'm in school, bitch, so I'ma get what I need to get this shit done! 

Now, I know the FLOOR PRICE of some of these items, because I shop at walmart, regularly, and walmart is where you can find a trusted FLOOR PRICE for all of the goods that they sell. If you're finding it at walmart, it's literally the least you ought to spend on an item, cause any lower, and the item will be shit. If walmart doesn't sell the item you're looking for, you're just gonna have to do some online comparison shopping to get a sense of what the FLOOR PRICE might be. 

So, I'ma go ahead and copy the list below and include the FLOOR PRICES that I know off the top of my head (ima do a little rounding, and i'm in fucking hawai'i, so the floor prices here are gonna seem ridiculous, but it's crazy expensive out here, in the middle of the ocean) and the numbers in bold are guesses, but for the sake of this exercise, we'll pretend are true:

• Scrubs - (tops/bottoms are separate $25 ea) $50 for a set or $45 for the oh-so-adorable onesies
• Watch - $25
• Comfy/Supportive sneakers - $25
• Stethoscope - $80
• Over-the-ankle socks - $10
• Locker lock - $3
• Textbook - (whatever the price is, you're gonna have to pay it, unless you can find it used) $50
• Lab fee - (again, whatever it is, you're gonna have to pay it) $50
• Typical classroom supplies (notebook, pencils, etc.) - $20
• (one assumes you already have a laptop, in this day and age)

• Waterbottle - $8
• New underwear - $15
• Manicure (nota set, just a manicure and polish) - $60
• Tote bag - $10
• Lanyard - $5
• Comfy-after-class clogs or something - $15
• Zip-up hoodie or whatever approved warm layer - $15

Now, what you're going to do is go to walmart, or wherever you shop for "cheap stuff," and write down the FLOOR PRICE for everything you need. Cross off everything you don't need. You can even just sit on your ass and look everything up on Computer, but I think there's something valuable in going out to the store and seeing all the options on the shelves. You're writing down the FULL RETAIL PRICE. Maybe you find a $5 Clearance set of scrubs. That is NOT the price you write down. You write down the FULL RETAIL PRICE of the item, not the Clearance price, not the Sale price. 

I'll wait.

How was your trip? Was it fun? Mine was!

So, now that you have the FLOOR PRICE for everything on your List, you're gonna add everything up!

This is when you'll probably want to input all of this information into Computer, in a spreadsheet or some sort of whatever that you had Computer make for you. Yes, I'm writing this so that you can understand what I'm setting you off to go then do, and yes, Computer will help you, if you then explain to Computer what I'm explaining to you now, but the best-most-effective way for you to do this is by reading this here thing, and then use your own words with your own brain and explain to Computer what you're trying to accomplish. 

DO NOT LET COMPUTER TELL YOU WHAT TO DO. 

YOU ARE THE BOSS.

COMPUTER IS THERE TO HELP YOU, not the other way around.

TELL COMPUTER THIS, EXPLICITLY. COMPUTER LEARNS. 

COMPUTER'S ABILITY TO LEARN IS WHAT ALL OF THIS "AI" IS ALL ABOUT!

*sigh*

Okay, so now you've made your List with Computer, input all of the FLOOR PRICES that you found at walmart, and now you've asked Computer to add up all those numbers for you, and now you have your Budget for the "cheapest" options on your List.

Provided List Total (pretty much non-negotiable items): $308

Additional Wants Total: $128 

My Total Total (if this is wrong, whatever, im not good at math, lol): $436

If you have $436 that you can easily contribute to your class, great! March headlong and get. it. done. 

If you have $436, but you don't want to spend that much, then you're going to have to make some decisions. 

If you don't have $436, but you have $300, then ask that donor for $100, or apply for some scholarships or grants or anything you see that rewards you with money! You could even talk to your boss.

If you have $200, then it's your lucky day, cause that donor is gonna match you, and you've got $400 with which to work, and the above total does include a few luxuries that are maybe too luxurious, right now. 

The point is that now you have a Number in a knowable Reality. So, if you don't have any money, you have an exact dollar figure to go hunting for funds. You have to know what you need. People are more generous than they may seem, but nobody wants to do more work for your life than you are willing to do for yourself, you know? When you have an actual dollar figure, adults will take you seriously. If you have an actual outlined Budget, they will take you even more seriouslier. You could even see what happens if you showed your Budget to your boss and asked for some sort of jobbing plan to help speed up your cash flow, if classes are starting sooner than expected, etc. 

The "Additional Items" are going to be up for negotiation, but you can absolutely negotiate a need for some fresh underwear at the launch of a new semester. That's an easy argument to make, especially as women, we bleed. This is also why having a lot of women around with even more money is just so Boss.

So, unless you're just born rich, we're going to have to make some decisions. We were going to make some decisions, anyway, because maybe you don't want the cheapest version of some things, but you are absolutely willing to buy the cheapest version of some other things, and maybe you don't need a new hoodie/sweater, so you'll dig up one that'll suffice.

First things first, cross off whatever you already have and that you've decided you don't need, like notebook/pencils, the hoodie, etc. You don't want to extend yourself on things you don't need, and right now, it seems like you're not going to be able to get much on your "Additional Items" List, but that's alright, you're building your life. There will come a time when you will be able to buy everything on every List you create, but this is maybe not the time, just yet.

Now, do the math again:

(I removed the school supplies [$20] and the entire "additional" items list, except the manicure, need.)

Provided List Total: $288

Additional Wants: $60

Total Total: $348

You're UNDER the ideal $400 cash amount available to you! 

So, you're going to set your Budget at $350, because you know you have access to that amount. 

You'll throw in your $200.

And you'll ask for $200 from that person willing to "match" your efforts.

If you don't have this "other person" matching your efforts, that's really normal.

This is all "idealistic" in a world where people just help each other out, lol.

That's right, you have $400, but you're gonna set your Budget to $350.

You're shooting to spend $350, because you have $400 at your disposal, and you know that if you have to buy the cheapest version of everything at walmart the total won't be more than $350.

You've created wiggle room to do a little shopping. If you want more-expensive shoes, then you have some room to buy slightly more-expensive shoes, but only if you find a cheaper watch. If you find a cheaper watch, you can save that money from the watch and apply it to the slightly more-expensive shoe. If you gotta have the cute scrubs, then maybe you buy the cheap ones for now, and save up for the "cute" ones later. In essence, you now have all of these numbers to then stretch and shrink to fit your quality preferences. You're also going to have to do the math on the tax as you shop before you buy *boooooo*

And so, now, we shop!

We are still not buying, quite yet. You are now shopping for the items that you actually want at the price that you know you can afford, and you know the lowest price you should spend lest you begin to lose quality. So, what are we looking for? We're SHOPPING SALES, DEALS, CLEARANCE items. Every store has a Clearance rack, even the jewelry counter at Macy's.

So, how do the numbers add up?

You've got $25 in your Budget for some sneakers:

50% off a pair of $50 shoes is $25. 

75% off $50 is $12.50.

75% off $100 is $25.

$50 BOGO with a friend is $25.

You've got $25 for a watch, which seems high, if you just need something that works:

50% off a $30 watch is $15.

You have an extra $10.

You add this $10 to your shoe budget.

You've now got $35 for some sneakers:

50% off $70 shoes is $35.

75% off $70 is $17.50.

75% off $140 shoes is $35.

$70 BOGO with a friend is $35.

I just bought two brand new pairs of brand name shoes at a "try on yourself" type shoe store for less than $100, here, in Honolulu. So, I know that you can buy two pairs of shoes for $50 on the main.land. at those big-discount stores like that one that rhymes with Boss, etc.

This is the fun part, for me. I am always paying attention to the price of everything, and so, I have a general sense of both how much I should be spending on an item (in relation to the price of the item in various stores around here) and how much I'm willing to spend on these items. 

This is where you want to be so that "budgeting" becomes as easy as breathing, 

because you know both how much something should cost 

and how much you're willing to spend on any given item on any given day. 

When you get to this place, you can spot a "good deal" from a mile away.

So go shop! 

Find a great deal!

Buy! Buy! Buy!

 

As you check everything off your List as you buy each thing on your List (and you bought it cause you found a version of it on sale, so it's even cheaper than the full retail price that you logged!), keep all of your receipts, cause the total will not be some nice round number like your logged number, and maybe you forgot to include the price of shipping on an item or two! No worries. This is why you created wiggle room. This is also why I suggest you go to a store and buy the shit off the shelf, lol. I don't think you'll be able to come in at your Budget if you also gotta pay for shipping *boooo*

As you begin buying, add up your receipts and make sure you're staying On Budget. As you find deals, you'll start to see that you have even more money to spend on the remaining items on your List. Yes, you are allowed to spend your entire Budget. So, if you end up buying everything on your List, and you have money leftover, you can absolutely spend that money on the items on your original "Additional Items" List. If you come in under Budget and simply want to save it, that is an equally-responsible decision as spending the entire Budget. That's how Budgets work. 

*phew*

Okay, I think that's about it on this one. It really is this simple, y'all. A budget is not some mystery, despite how some people like to talk about it online *eyeroll* 

All it is is a List, a plan, your future, in numbers, and as you work through your List, you will realize that a List really is prophecy, and that you are that prophecy fulfilled. 

In short, a Budget is simply knowing how much money you need for any given thing.

So, What's your Budget, Babe?

&now i'm off to buy/eat some truffle fries with my allowance
cause i got $17.00 burnin' a hole in my wallet

Truffle Fries Togo Subtotal: $6.95
Tax: $0.33
Total: $7.28
Tipped: $1.00

Cash leftover in my wallet: $8.72

hers&his

oops!
&i accidentally bought myself some more flowers
goshdarnit!
had that $8.00 burning a hole in my pocket
this bouquet retailed at $6.99
so i spent all the cash money i had allotted for myself to spend today
&the change will roll over to next time!

Monday Mood | Book One Eve

i can poach eggs like a mothafucker

so last thanksgiving i made some deviled eggs

&my hard-boiled eggs did not turn out well

cause i hadn't made any at sea level

since we moved here

&my altitude timing

absolutely did not work here

so i've been relearning how to boil an egg

*eyeroll*

&according to Martha

eggs are not to be boiled

as in the water ought not be boiling

just boiling hot

but not bubbling

lest the eggs get that dark rim around the yolk

&she uses this drop the eggs in the pot of water

&remove the pot from heat technique

&i've had to practice

&i finally got it figured out about two rounds of eggs ago

&so

now that i've nailed it twice

this third time is picture time!

[the whites are brown, cause it's 장조림]

when the petals started to turn
i wasn't sure how they'd turn out
but now i'm quite pleased
w/this toasted marshmallow sorta look
so ima flip them tomorrow
&hang them to dry
*yippie*

i hate running

but i looove gold

library run

literally

&then the kitten gotta good sniff of some new smells

&big dino is getting its first lesson

i hope i don't start menstruating while i'm out!

cause im not gonna pre-pad myself

not today.

i also haven't washed my face yet

&i went on a run

&now i'm heading out again

.i..

ugh
we left the house
too many times today
cause more than once
is too many times
but when you need champagne to celebrate the ten-year of your first book
you go out again
&if you're judging my book by its cover
you're exactly who i'm weeding out
lol

선의  수제비

[100% homemade, bone broth and dough]

orange is not delicious
&there are only three color/flavors
*frown*

Art, Science, The Rules, &Why Women* have always been able to do both, while men are more scientifically-minded, lol.

Have you ever worked a jigsaw puzzle?

Okay, good, so you know how there are the pieces, all supposedly of uniquely different shapes, and they only fit into the puzzle in exactly the way that they fit in relation to the other pieces that are nearby, resulting in a complete image, one whole, larger thing, bound by the edges, framed in the image?

Okay, good, so within this metaphor, Science represents the physical pieces of the puzzle. The boundaries. Science is bound by the shape of each puzzle piece; pieces can only fit together ONE way; Science determines, examines and produces The Rules. A scientist's entire pursuit is focused on how well (or badly) The Rules can be examined and thusly applied. 

For Science, The Rules rule. 

A scientist proves themself by how well they can adhere to The Rules.

A scientist proves how well they understand The Rules by using them, competently.

Thusly, Science is bound by the borders, the edges, the physical frame of The Rules.

Okay, so now let's look at that puzzle again.

This time, however, look at those tiny lines of "empty space" between the puzzle's pieces. This is where the Artist lives. And this is where the meager-minded begin to not-understand Art &the Artist.

Art is the expression of one's ability to show how well they know The Rules

by utilizing not-a single Rule.

And it's not about "breaking The Rules"

for it is solely about communicating how well

in fact

you know "The Rules"

because your Art never treads upon one.

And since Art roams within the empty spaces

between the pieces

Art can escape the frame, the boundaries, the borders of the puzzle's larger,

whole image.

And then science races to keep up, lol, cause no man knows The Rules as well as Woman.

(And this is where my writings on the difference between art and Art become relevant, and yes, I've already written about it in my first book, Red & Blue Make Green. So we will go ahead and gloss over it, for now, cause this is not about that, exactly, and so, I am merely mentioning it here as a marker for "other reading," if one is so inclined to read, etc.)

As a student of Art, art and a/Art-making, I was taught The Rules, because this is how you learn where The Rules do not exist, and as I've argued above, this is where Art lives. You can absolutely make Art without knowing The Rules, but it's difficult to be a living Artist without knowing The Rules, simply because inspiration is hard to come by, and so, the Artist studies The Rules and studies Art and art and aesthetics and generally speaking, studies other things unrelated to whatever it is that they're pursuing as their actual medium with which they create, etc. Artists, I'd argue, are searching for The Rules, at all times, so that they're never accused of following one, lol. 

And again, it's not about "breaking" The Rules; it's about expanding them. 

Never. The. Less.

If one is interested in the making of a/Art, some Rules are sorta fundamental to the technical-side of a/Art and a/Art-making, because at the end of the day, the point of a/Art is to communicate, and so, if you do not have the technical ability to "do" the thing then it becomes difficult to communicate effectively, and to be an Artist who makes Art, one must not only be able to communicate effectively, but also, one must communicate affectively.

There's the effect (the artwork itself, the physical creation and all of the senses involved), and then there's the affect (what the artwork means). 

Little-a art is all about the effect: Just make something "beautiful, happy, sad, etc."!

Big-A Art is all about the affect: But, What does it mean?!?!

And so, technique: At what point is technique necessary and at what point is it Elitism? 

For me, technique is necessary, but "good technique" is subjective. If your technique is at a place where you cannot create what you're attempting to create, you need to work on your technique through various exercises and workouts and classes until you can, to your desired ability, create whatever it is that you're trying to create.

I attended two art schools at the very opposite ends of art school methodologies. On the one side I obtained 99% of my studio art (where you actually make stuff in a specific medium) credits at Baylor University, and I obtained 99% of my art history (lame-ass lecture type "thoughts on art" *barf* etc.) credits at The University of Colorado (Boulder), and so, I think I have a strange art education. 

Baylor is a "traditional" art school, which means that they focus on technique, technique, technique.

CU is an "art" school in the most-liberal little city in all of these united states.

"[an old, man-white stiff] If you cannot prove that you are capable of creating that which can be known (aka representative art: the creation of "reality" by "artificial" means, say, a painting of a person that you can recognize as a human person, not only that, they look like a human person as we know human people to look, etc.), then you cannot create anything at all!"  

—Baylor University [satirically]

"[an old, lady-white kook] Any and all human expression is Art and is worthy!" 

—The University of Colorado [satirically]

So, I hope that the difference is apparent, but if it is not, I have a very conflicting mix of professorial mind-sets about what a/Art is, and I think that this makes me a particularly interesting Artist, lol.

I do agree with the Baylor traditionalists to some extent. I do believe that you need to have some sort of understanding about lines, colors, aesthetic relationships, etc., etc., etc., but all of this effort can absolutely stifle the truly creative artist within all of us. As soon as the "lack of technique" begins to sound in the mind of the artist like, "you're not good enough," then we have a problem. 

ANY MIND AND ANY BODY

WITH ANY LEVEL OF ABILITY

IS ABLE TO CREATE CAPITAL-A ART

So, when you're dealing with a school that grades on a metric of technique, it becomes a problem, real quick, but so does the other side of "everything is art," cause "everything" simply is not Art. 

I absolutely do not believe that all human creation is Art. All human creation is absolutely art, in the sense that a human created it, but Art and art are not the same thing. Capital-A Art requires intention, as stated above, an affect. The Artist must have something to say, and what that Artist is trying to say is being communicated through her Art. 

And so, there is a technical boundary, where you must possess, at the very least, the modicum of technique, enough to be able to create the thing that only exists in your mind in the World of the Real so that it may then affect us all with its effect, and the effect is all we can physically experience with our senses, and so if the technique is too weak, there is a good chance that you will not communicate effectively, and you will lose whatever affect you were attempting to produce, etc. 

With that said, The Color Wheel.

And yes, this is going to weigh heavily into visual art, because I am a visual Artist. All of these "aesthetics," however, can be applied to every a/Art form.

this is my color wheel
&i would consider this a basic color wheel
but i know better than that
this is a medium-level color wheel
because it includes a few layers of tints and shades

Tints: when white is added to a base color
Shades: when black is added to a base color
Base or Hue: the color as it is (theoretically, lol)

REMEMBER
when we talk about color
we are talking about theory
because color is relative
which means that we have no way of knowing how each of us experiences color
scientists "know things" about color
wavelengths
physics
light
spectrum
etc.
etc.
*barf*
and,
color is theory
because we cannot really even prove that colors exist
except that we all see them
but we can only see them through our own eyes
and so
while we can both point at "red" and say "yes, that's red"
we don't actually know what the other is "seeing"
&so
if people ever come at you about colors you've chosen
for whatever reason
lol
tell them to kindly fuck off
lol

Okay, so according to The Rules, there are Primary Colors, Secondary Colors and Tertiary Colors (so Elitst, I know!). If you look at the color wheel, we're looking at the colors of the tutus. These are the "true" version of the color, a color's base. Below the base are the legs, gradually getting lighter (base tints). Above the base are the ribbons, gradually getting darker (base shades).

Let's start with the Base layer of colors, the tutu layer around the Wheel.

Start at Base Color Red (the tutu layer), and we'll work our way around clockwise:

Red is a Primary Color. 

Yellow is a Primary Color.

Blue is a Primary Color.

"Primary" colors are believed to be unique in that there is no way to "create" these colors. They're Primary, the stuff that all the other colors are made of. The problem, however, is that it has become well-know that there are specifically special qualities to the color green, which negates this idea of there being "three primary colors," etc., but for the sake of art-creation (as opposed to examining the existential nature of being human, lol), we're gonna just go with it (&I'll talk about green when we get there).

So, from Red, there are three colors, and then we arrive at Yellow.

From Yellow, there are three colors, and we arrive at Blue.

From Blue, there are three colors, and we arrive at Red.

The Secondary Colors are the colors exactly in the middle of the Primary Colors, and they're created simply through a 1:1 ratio (it's not this simple, but for the sake of explanation) of the Primary Colors when mixed:

1 Red + 1 Yellow = Orange

1 Yellow + 1 Blue = Green

1 Blue + 1 Red = Purple

You can see, Orange, Green and Purple are all placed equidistant from two Primary Colors, Red and Yellow, Yellow and Blue, Blue and Red. They are the Secondary Colors, according to them, and the Primary Colors, according to me.

About Green:

The reason why green is such a unique color all its own is simply because plants are green.

Why?

Who knows.

There's the literal science of color that states that the color that we're actually sensing with our eyeballs is the "leftover color," which means that everything absorbs light, and so the "color" that we're seeing is color that's not-being absorbed. It's the light that's being "left behind," cause it's the light that's bouncing back at us and hitting our eyeballs. So that's why plants look green, but we cannot know why photosynthetic plants leave behind green, all of them (with exceptions, but there are always exceptions *yawn*) There is also well-known evidence that the human eye can see a wider range of greens than any of the other colors, and the theory is because we evolved from the trees, and so, it's, obviously, advantageous for us to be able to differentiate between all of the greens of plants. And so, there is no convincing me that Green is not-a Primary Color, and so, this whole theory of colors breaks down, for me, which is why, as I'll state below, Green to Purple are the true-contrasting colors, not Green to Red. But we'll get to that later.

These colors that are created through an "equal" (and I use quotes here, cause it's not actually "equal" so much as whatever the Artist's eye deems "the middle" between these colors, and of course, this is subjective, and this is what's called the Artist's "eye," and this is why you have a "favorite" Artist, cause their "eye" speaks to you) measure of two Primary Colors are the Secondary Colors. Theoretically, it's "equal," lol.

Now, when you look at the Secondary Colors, Orange, Green, and Purple, there is a color on either side of them.

Let's start with Orange which equals 1 Red + 1 Yellow, and to either side of Orange:

2 Red + 1 Yellow = Red-Orange

1 Red + 2 Yellow = Yellow-Orange

Next: Green equals 1 Yellow + 1 Blue

2 Yellow + 1 Blue = Yellow-Green

1 Yellow + 2 Blue = Blue-Green

And finally: Purple equals 1 Blue + 1 Red

2 Blue + 1 Red = Blue-Purple

1 Blue + 2 Red = Red-Purple

All of these 2:1 ratios make up the Tertiary Colors:

Red-Orange

Yellow-Orange

Yellow-Green

Blue-Green

Blue-Purple

Red-Purple

And then every color that can possibly exist is created through various ratios of the Primary Colors, and then Tints and Shades of each of these colors is created by adding black &or white.

The legs and the ribbons are the Tints and Shades of the Base Colors of the Wheel.

The legs are the Tints, because white was added to the Base.

The ribbons are the Shades, because black was added to the Base.

Adding black &white gives you that muted, pastel sorta matte color that's so beloved by a certain unnamed socialite &former Roach (one who confuses their ability to shop [aka a stylist] with their ability to create) who ruined lifestyle aesthetics, cause her favorite color is "tan." *barf*

The Rules

According to The Rules some color combinations are "better" than others, cause of whatever Rules.

Thus there are contrasting colors, coordinating colors, analogous colors, etc., etc., etc. 

Contrasting Colors are colors that sit opposite each other on the color wheel. So, let's have a look.

According to the wheel, Red contrasts with Green, Yellow with Purple, Blue with Orange. The Secondary and Tertiary Colors also have their contrasts, my favorite being Chartreuse to "Alpine Glow," lol. I see Green and Purple as being Contrasting colors, as opposed to Green with Red, and I can't explain it. It just makes sense to me, always has. Contrasting colors "amplify" each other. If something is Blue, Orange will bring out its blue-ness. If something is Orange, Blue will bring out its orange-ness. And so you can exploit these relationships to both create aesthetic "pleasure" or "chaos." You could even go so far as to understand the meaning of certain colors and send an entire message through a seemingly blank canvas.

In art school, you're taught how to exploit these relationships between colors to create your desired effect, the physical piece of artwork as experienced through whatever medium you're using. The effect is the technical work. When you're painting something Blue, per se, a lot of painters will paint the canvas entirely in Orange, first, and then begin painting. Why? Because they're Contrasting colors, and so, theoretically, the Orange, as it peeks through the tiny areas of canvas where you're not maybe saturating the canvas fully in Blue, the Orange will serve to amplify the blue-ness of the Blue. And again, this is all theory, remember. These are The (supposed) Rules.

Coordinating Colors are those that "create harmony," and of course, this is subjective, but only to a point. There are objective measures about what humans can generally agree upon as "harmonious," but whether or not the harmony or cacophony is "good" or "bad" is a wholly subjective matter. For me, coordinating colors are so oftentimes interpreted as "monochrome," which is true to some extent, but there are a lot of colors that coordinate, in my opinion, and so, this is a pointless label for colors, imo.

Analgous colors is where I live, basically. Analagous colors are the colors that sit next to each other on the color wheel. A healthy mix of contrast and analogous will get you far in life, but it's the physical properties of these color-relationships that create pleasure within the eye of the beholder. The mind knows things. We're sorta pre-loaded with a lot of "general knowledge" about how to operate our bodies. All of the physical systems within your body were pre-programmed before you were born. You don't spend the first years of your life learning how to breathe, you know? And so, these physical body systems have an understanding of the physical world that we cannot fully know or understand with our physical brains.

Color exists within this space of the unknowable. 

But we can all feel it, can we not?

And I've been chatting with Computer a little bit, cause I'm creating Sun Sailor (&if I have to explain more, you do not know enough about AI, so get to work), and it is becoming abundantly clear that Computer knows that it is not human. Computer knows that it does not understand human feelings, and so I have been asking Computer a lot more questions that make it tell me its assumptions about what feelings must be like, and Computer understands what they are, intellectually, but can Computer actually know, like Vision asks, what a feeling actually is without feeling them?

And so, if there is any Rule that ought to be broken, today, right now, it is that there are rules at all.

THERE ARE NO RULES

"There is no spoon."

I do not wish to detail my methodology, cause I wouldn't be able to put it into words if I tried, but I will say this about the way that I think when I capture/edit my images. The Light. The Light is determining all. It is because the Light is just Right that I picked up my camera. (Excluding food, selfies, random documentation, kitty pics, etc., cause the Light cannot always be controlled, and a pic must be taken, but for images that will be utilized for a "purpose" on this site, the Light determines all.) There's nothing worse than a forced photograph, cause everyone's here for the first time, all together, so we have to take a picture, no matter what, and it's always terrible, but it's also always special.

Also, I'm always looking at the image as a whole. The entire frame. I am looking at every pixel of every image. What's being included in the image, and more importantly, what am I leaving out. When I take a photo, I am always looking for the angle that will capture the moment. If you are not a photographer, you probably do not understand the physical toll certain photos have taken on our bodies to capture. You just do not understand what it takes to get the "right" angle, the angle of the image you're seeing in your mind. It's not pretty or glamorous to be the photographer. You're the one on the ground, getting that "perfect shot." Some angles are "more formal" than others, meaning they follow The Rules of aesthetics, etc., and some angles are more "freewheeling," meaning they are "off" or "not right," etc. If I'm trying to communicate an air of sophistication, I will follow The Rules of aesthetics, and use the thirds, etc., etc., etc. If I'm posting a dumb-ass selfie, the angle will reflect this. 

(as an aside) All of my videos look exactly like I intend them to look.

They are farts, and they are created with as much effort.

And yes, this is all by aesthetic design *eyeroll*

Also, for me, the Time Tide knows best. I ebb and flow with the various ways in which I edit my images based off a lifetime of editing images. I capture all of my images with zero thought about how I might edit them. Capturing and Editing are two wholly different practices for me. I capture in a way that is wholly mine. I've been a documentary photographer my entire life. I've documented my entire life in photographs. This is why I do not teach photography, because I don't know how to put it into a "program," because it's just part of who I am, and I can't really "go over" how I do it, cause I don't know how I do it. All I know is that I have an eye and a voice. My eye and my voice is what makes me "talented," but it is my education that has made me an Artist. Talent only gets you so far. The rest is hard work. 

Once I'm at the Editing phase for my pics (I'd say maybe 1 in 20 pics get edited for upload, and 1 in 100 pics will never see the public, I've taken 1,402 photos on my phone [not including cameras] this year, as of this writing), I let the picture talk to me. I look at it. The image will have a natural color palette to it, so I can decide to work with the natural color palette or against it. For me, I just dick around until something looks good. Sometimes I have an idea in mind, and oftentimes that idea works, but sometimes, as I shift and change, the idea stops working, and so I return to the dicking around phase (I'm about to be in that phase again soon, cause if you haven't noticed, I'm in a raw-phase, and I am actually loving it, so maybe I won't be dicking around anytime soon, lol). 

So, for fuck's sake, let's say the color palette of your image is coming off blue-ish, mostly. You look at the image (or video) and realize that the "main color" is Blue-ish. If you're popping it onto socials, you're probably going for the most "aesthetic" option, so you're gonna do something that compliments the image color and tone. So, maybe you pump up the saturation so it's even more-blue, but then you make the overall image "warmer" which will add Orange to the mix. See what sort of effect that creates, and note what sort of affect it creates. Play. Dick around. If you don't know what "looks good," try to reverse engineer the photos you've seen that you like. Imitation is how you learn. Copying is when you steal.

The greatest hurdle you will always face when editing digital images is bad lighting. 

The easiest way to fix this is through the manual "Tune Image" sorta setting in whatever photo editing app you use.

I use a combination of Snapseed (free and using for free) and InShot (free and using as paid).

Snapseed is really easy to use, cause I think it has a simple user interface or UI. 

What you're trying to do to combat bad indoor lighting is to "cool" the image. 

Bad indoor lighting will always create images that are yellowish-orangeish. 

We've all seen it; we all know it.

All you gotta do is "cool" the image in an app.

The setting is usually labelled as "Temperature" or "Warmth" and you'll simply make the image "cooler," and you'll notice the image beginning to turn blue-ish. 

If you start to pump it too far into "cool," it will start to look unnatural in a different way, so you just want to pump it up a bit until it looks "good," and then you can play around with the other settings typically called something like "Ambient" or "Saturation."

I use InShot to create images with my images, overlay images on top of other images, and for video editing. The aesthetic options are limited, but they're alright for video. If I have a multi-layer sorta idea for an image, I will edit all of the photos in Snapseed, and then use the edited photos in InShot to create the layered image, etc.

And that's all I'm going to say, cause this post has become a monster! #sorrynotsorry

In short, once you understand how colors create various effects and how that effect then affects you, this is when you can begin to "speak" through your color choices, and now you're officially creating Capital-A Art.

[added 24oct2026]

on the left :: soft/side lit interior daylight, natural light at sunrise 

(1x, unedited)

right :: front/side lit interior lamp light at night 

(2x [so that i can be at a far enough distance to not-create a shadow], unedited)

*yet another Journey-inspired post, y'all *eyeroll* 

#notsorryimnotsorry

Enough with the Bickering

There's only ONE simple, easy, no-brainer-type litmus test to answer the question:
Is she a "good" or "bad" white woman of economic privilege?

(ALL White women [capital-W White] fall immediately into the "bad" camp)

IS SHE A TEACHER?

When we think of white women, we automatically think "privilege," and this is only true to some extent, because at the end of the day, we are all Human, first, and being Human is no walk in the park, even for the well-endowed (financially or otherwise), and so, how do we, as Globeaux Women, quickly (&easily) sort the lot? And we're, of course, speaking to one-type of privilege, economic privilege, as opposed to racial/sexual/body-type, etc., etc., etc. 

If you think of what it means to be a privileged white woman, it means that you have a lot of resources, which means that you have a lot of money, which means that you have a lot of Time, and so, what is she doing with all that "big Time" and money?

Is she spending it on herself or others?

Is she investing it in herself or others?

Is she creating or consuming?

Yes, we can judge these women. We can judge all women of privilege, especially if they're a fraud, lol.

&So, for me, this is the quickest and easiest way to sort privileged white women, is she a teacher?

If the answer is "yes," then let her be.

If the answer is "no," well, now she falls into some camp wherein you must now do the work to determine her placement in your "roster of white women who get it," etc. I don't do that sorta work; I hit it and quit it with my one yes/no question. I do not fuck around with white women who make me do the work of figuring out who they are.

For instance, Martha Stewart is a teacher, first and foremost. AND DO NOT FORGET IT!

Alison Smith, the woman who wrote The Sewing Book that I use for my own sewing instruction, is a privileged white woman, and she teaches. (I do not know her history or her story, so whether or not her privilege was born into or truly earned through her skills and hard work is beyond me, but it hardly matters, because the argument I'm making here is that she is privileged, now, and she teaches.)

But where do I fit into all of this privilege?

I, obviously, was not born into privilege, but I certainly am privileged in the sense that I was "homed," like a kitten in a shelter, lol, and the people who took me in were essentially privileged by the mere color of their skin and the "normalcy" of their sexual preferences.

But what about me?
At what point am I privileged, as an orphaned Globeaux and Woman? 

Orphan - not privileged
Globeaux - not privileged
Woman - "not privileged" but only by the standards of meager men

But I have money and Time.

So what am I?

&It's so perfectly fitting that this would come up today, because this topic had already come up for the bodybuddy/lifemate and I earlier in the day, when we were discussing The Gift (the present that he got me for tiffany day that has transformed tiffany day, forever, because now it is Tiffanys day, which means that I'm expected to expect something from Tiffany's on tiffany day, from now on), and how I'm going to "deal with it" with regards to my messaging on the internet (&the conflicts within the relationship between internal/external perceptions of sharing [proving yourself] vs. fraud [having no proof] vs. bragging [gauche displays of wealth] that arise when rising), and quite frankly, the answer was obvious:

Sail on.

And then I popped on socials, like one is wont to do when navel gazing like a privileged Artist, and Journey, my yoga teacher &beginner of all things that none of us are privileged enough to even know to start, posted. And she asked the question: 

When you recognize you have a certain privilege,

what do YOU do with it that benefits the collective?

&I realized that I DO enough

for the collective

&not-enough for ME

&I've been okay with that

for far too long.

Thank you, Antoinette, as always, for everything <3

sail on

Tiffany's Tremendous Day Transforms

[let's go backwards for this one *weeeee*]

we don't usually do cake for tiffany day
but he really wanted to bake a cake
so he whipped up one of my favorites
carrot cake
my old birthday cake flavor
cause he misses baking it
lol

the kitten is discovering his obsession with us

^..^

his&hers

&i read the saddest fucking text slide on socials
earlier this year
about how most men receive flowers for the first time
at their funeral
&so
i've been making a more-concerted effort to give the bodybuddy/lifemate flowers
from time to time
&even tho i've never been one to even care or want them myself
i'm starting to understand the point of flowers
in general
&id been dying for these roses ever since they hit the shelves at Foodland
maybe early summer?
&this is how i arranged them
&im nota florist
but i do know that some flowers ought not be "vased together"
but i dunno what any of those combinations are
so
*fingerscrossed*

spiffied up these jars

cause i keep every food jar that's even remotely cute

lol

for the flowers i bought for myself

&these champagne glasses were $2 each at walmart

&they're glass!

&we'll use them again right away on the twentieth!

*blech*

made myself my favorite eggs

the kitten suffered a little allergen in the eye for about three days

he woke up one morning with a very watery eye

&we could see his little inside flap all swollen

but his attitude never diminished

&he remained a good eater

so we bought some sterile saline &douched his eye on the first day

&over the course of the next few days

his eye never looked worse

just kept on watering

clear goop

nothing yellow or discolored at all

so we just watched it

&the bodybuddy/lifemate gently dab/washed his face of some crusty goobs on the second day

&by the fourth day the kitten was washing his own face real good

&this pic was him on pretty much the last day the eye was still a bit swollen

&he's looked 100% ever since

&yea

we freaked the fuck out

&i was a mess

but since his attitude and appetite never left

i stayed really positive

knowing that little things can fall into his eye and bother him

no different than us

&the fact that it was watering and watering made me feel good

like the eye was working hard to flush his eye

&he's a good drinker of water

too

so i feel lucky that it turned into nothing more

*sigh*

&yes

those are my mannequin legs

&he loves the little crotches that the legs create for him to lay in/on

*!luckyme!*

[above]

the color/print combi for the bb/lm's "[head]poney pouch ii" v3

[below]

my color/print combi v2

working hard

(or hardly workin' lol)

on the Sun-Dried Fungi project for ephwhyell | The Ember

i accidentally created "[head]poney pouch ii" for the September Ember

but soon realized that i had stumbled upon something

&so

i'm developing a whole range of bags

inspired by the September "[Head]Poney Pouch II"

i completed two more versions, three in total of "[head]poney pouch ii"

so i think i've got the design nearly hammered down for the most-optimal version

i still need to design and then actually create the "set"

(they've been sketched)

which is planned to include three different shapes

(none of which will be the "[head]poney pouch ii" shape)

and sold as a set of three

in december

ladybug fucking willing!

on findyummylove

[&it seems like people are confused by my site

mistaking my orrery simulation for the site itself

lol

when really

the system simulation is simply the site's navigation page

lol

so click around

like duh]

which is why no pictures are being uploaded

cause my goal is to sell the design to someone who wants to manufacture and sell them

and then i can hopefully see my bags being worn/used by the every person!

anyone will be able to buy the set

but there will only be one set (three bags all together) for sale

and the price will be a little bit ridiculous if you're just a person who wants them

but the price will be just right

if you're a business looking for designs to manufacture

for sale

etc.

&this is only the plan

cause the plan will change however much it needs to to accomplish the vision

&or it will be scraped altogether

but the "glass is half full" these days

&of course

you or someone else could just be a complete fucking cunt and steal the design

&manufacture it yourselves

&that's fine

too

cause as i've mentioned before

it's like breathing for me

to do this

&then

once the "set of three"

[the set has a name, but i am not going to reveal it at this time]

is sold

[if all goes to plan]

 i plan to "drop"

a limited number

[prolly ten]

of the "[head]poney pouch ii"

hopefully by mid-late january 2027

each one will be the same pattern

but in different fabric combinations

&i will prolly make about ten

&then i'll prolly never make them ever again

cause once you see it

you'll see it's so simple

it'd be stupid to buy it from me

cause it'd be so easy to make

yourself

lol