Sailing Summits

Sailing Summits by Yours Truly 2025 february

11" x 14" unframed poster board
rubber cement
paper from a greeting card
&the following magazines ::
Powder Magazine 2025 photo annual 51.2
Vogue 2024 december & 2025 winter
Inside Your Cats Mind - Cat Happiness: Raise A Great Cat, & More! 2025 March

&yes, please use the contact box for price inquiries

'Golden Circle' via Lady Polarity

Golden Circle
[shot on samsung a14 phone-camera, b&w snapseed filter applied] 
a new photographic companion-piece to accompany an old written-piece called
"Golden Circle" on Lady Polarity

As a subscriber ... 2025 February & 'Winter'

Artforum February 2025

Vogue Winter 2025

thank god for chappell roan, amirite? both sides have, officially, crowned their respective clowns, lol.

white rice is just naked brown rice, stripped of its nutrients

most healthy egos understand that "the clown" is the egomaniac who wants to be the center of attention, like, ALL THE TIME, &so, it's interesting to have chosen "the clown" as your persona, but don't worry, you've all assured us that with this attention, you'll be a "good clown," the type that cares about all of the "friends" you made while you were a starving wannabe-famous content creator. 

grow the fuck up.

okay, fine, we all donate $25K to struggling music "artists," &then what? what about the struggling visual "artists" or struggling dance "artists"? 

okay, &then what?

you seem to think that you live in a world that you do not live in, &or you think that we should all be living in some world of your imagination, but you've imagined nothing beyond that which is self-serving.

it's one thing to want change; it's a whole other thing ... to create it. 

&like The brilliant Hollywood Reporter writer wrote, you're a dime a dozen; you fundamentally do not-understand the world in which you live; you fall into the camp of those who simply want to be seen as change-makers (how can you change a structure you do not understand?) as opposed to being change-makers. you're cosplaying activism. 

you are the embodiment of the antithesis of what we're striving for here ... as artists.

"esse quam videri"

like, first&foremost, you fundamentally do not understand that you are not an artist; you are a clown, figuratively, a content creator. you make things to attract the attention of others. you're not creative or clever or eccentric; you're a clown, literally. you're literally dressed up like a clown. through your sheer pursuit of being accepted into the industry, i.e. commercialized, you are a sell-out, a content creator, the opposite of an artist, like, fucking-duh. 

&what you want is for there to be some sort of support mechanism for wannabe-famous content creators?

&what you want is for that thing to be "free money"?

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  

THERE IS A SUPPORT MECHANISM FOR ARTISTS ON THE RISE;

it's called a JOB!

some jobs, believe it or not, actually provide healthcare, btw. 

there is no "right" to be paid for your content; that's absolutely absurd. if you do get paid, great! if not, your rights are not being "taken away;" you are not a victim nor are you a catalyst. *iroll*

"But I just want my art to be my job!" 

THEN YOU'RE NOT MAKING ART ANYMORE, MORON!

[begin side note] 

i've been seeing a lot of social media posts lately from wannabe influencers who are striking a line like, "I told my followers to give me $3 or unfollow me. 80,000 people unfollowed," but how much money did you get?, and "Why are you following me without paying for my content? I post [free] videos all day long, but nobody pays me for them, and nobody buys my services," and "My business is going to close if people don't support my business."

first off, just like right off the bat, why do you think that you're entitled to be paid for content you post, for free, on the internet? this is just like so fucking confusing to me. i honestly cannot embody the mind-state required for this conclusion. if what you want is for your social media to be income-producing channels for capitalism, then you have to play by the rules of capitalism, and currently, these days, capitalism-as-usual on social media is being driven by an algorithm, gAI. thus, if you do not play by the gAI game, you will not win. if you don't know how to play the gAI game, you will not win. 

the "content creators" out there who think that they can some how make "art" and get noticed are kidding themselves. like i said, chappell took on the persona of a literal clown. in the "look-at-me" game, the fucking clown is always going to win, but like i also said, the clown requires an EGO of ungodly proportion, as we're witnessing IN REAL TIME, in the whitest of houses. 

second, i've spent a lot of money on a lot of [race-redacted] women on the internet. i've bought products, and i've bought services, and i've even just given straight-up cash. &honestly, i just haven't wanted to spend my money again for the same products &or services. i'm the toughest of consumers. &i have a budget. i would love to fold a [race-redacted]-owned product into my budget, but so far, i haven't found one i'd repeat-buy, Laurence Basse, the only one of the lot who had the good sense to "like" all of the posts i posted, for free, to promote her products on socials, excepted; i am already a repeat customer of hers, because i like her stuff, but the vast majority of her products are still #goals. 

that's capitalism.

&so, yea, i fully understand why all of these types of people loathe capitalism-as-usual so so much. trust me, i fucking get it. what you want is some parasitic fund that shells out cash to you for posting a post to social media, no matter the quality of the content. you want to create some sort of Union wherein you, like a parasite, suck money from those who generate capital so that you can be given those funds, like a parasite. you want to be financially supported because you want to be famous?

that's insane. 

like, you're proving that you know so little about money that nobody should even listen to you. you haven't thought of any solutions; your solution is CHARITY. you want to live off charitable donations? businesses fail every single day. bad businesses abound. bad music abounds. you cannot assume that your very first business is going to take off. you can't assume that your first song is going to take off. you can't even assume that, when you do make it as some "influencer" or "music artist," you will be able to be an "influencer" or a "music artist" for your entire working life.

what's next? when you've phased out, you're going to complain that your music isn't making you any money anymore, &so, you're going to want us to give you money because you were famous? oh my fucking god. like, seriously?

PARASITE! 

like, get it through your fucking heads. this is not a world wherein you're just given money, because you want it. if that's your approach to life, you're playing the lottery. you're not working hard, you're gambling.

third, i paid an aspiring influencer back in late 2023 to participate in a survey about financial literacy. we(the bodybuddy/lifemate&i)'ve learned that people do not like to talk about money, &so some poor people remain poor simply because they are unwilling to talk about money, &there's really no way to learn about money except through talking about it with someone who does know about money, but i also understand how risky it can be to talk to someone about money, especially if you fall into a group of historically, economically disenfranchised people, etc., and that's why we've learned that the best way to talk to people about money is by simply making available a set of questions. 

people seem more willing to teach themselves about money, but again, if you're poor, how do you even know what the questions are? &so, i essentially paid an aspiring influencer to participate in the questionnaire. i never even see the answers to the questions. their responses are not for me to then assess. the questions are for them to assess their own situations, &then, if they have any questions, i am available to them if they want my input, etc. the thing is, though, that the money also requires their active participation. i ask that after they complete the questionnaire for themselves they contact me to be surveyed about generalizations regarding the questionnaire. i do not ask specifics (like an income range), but rather, i ask more about how the person might feel about their income range, etc., &this person has yet to fulfill the survey portion of the questionnaire, &it is early 2025. not that i'm still open to receiving their survey responses, i'm not. i would be, but then they went on some rant about how they can see how some people used to interact with them, and now they don't. as if they didn't initiate the lack of interaction. as if they are owed something. bitch, i'm not white. bark up a different tree.

[end side note]

my point is that hoops are proving to be quite the hurdle among these types, &hoops are impossible for the majority of gen-z. they don't want hoops; they want free money. 

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! &they wonder why generation after generation of immigrants come through here and scoop up positions of power! BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

like, what fucking planet did you grow up on?

but with an EGO as seriously fucking enormous as yours, i imagine that it was difficult to be dropped by your label, because you thought you were some pretty hot shit until you got dropped, &the thought of you having to go out there and get some job AFTER being signed to a label is just, like, not gonna cut it for that EGO of yours *barf* 

like, seriously, you fall into the cohort who thinks that the people who rise to the top didn't work their asses off to get there. sure, nepo-babies exist, &yea, they're soft as fuck (never sweat a nepo-baby, they never survive more than about two generations, if that), but everyone else, especially women (even nepo-baby women), worked their fucking asses off to get where they are, you better fucking believe.

the most ironic part is that YOU represent the person who did nothing to get to the top. you, literally, dressed up like The Clown, got everyone's attention, &then started saying even more attention-getting things, &now, while bringing ZERO SOLUTIONS to the table, you're so upset that nobody supported you. 

&so, when you go up onto a stage and declare that when you were young, you decided that you would be a "good god" &that you'd stick up for the little people once you were "above us," just like fucking listen to yourself. 

you're all EGO, kid.

&we've officially entered

The Era of The Clown

*laugh-cries*

*vomits*

Sailor's Log (final) Week Sixteen | Law School Application, Complete

week fourteen flew by in a blur. i, honestly, don't even remember the week. 

&then, monday happened, week fifteen, day two.

while we were commuting, by foot, home from our jobs, the bodybuddy/lifemate was punched in the face by a homeless person. the guy sucker punched him. he walked up behind him; i didn't realize the guy was up to no good, until it was too late, &when the bodybuddy/lifemate turned to look in the direction i was directing him toward, the guy clocked the bodybuddy/lifemate in the face. he's fine. the inside of his lower lip was busted up enough to bleed, &then it became a whole thing with the police. the only other thing i will say on the matter is that a burly bystander, when hearing my plea to the gas station attendant to, "please call the police," ran right over to the guy and contained him until the police showed up. i skipped jobbing on tuesday.

i've traveled the world, literally, since i was three (two months shy of four) years old.

i've been lucky.

&it was strange to have a thing that like happen to us, here, but it was unsurprising, since we have lived here long enough to not-be surprised by something like this, &c. 

it was during week fifteen that i had planned to poop out all of the writing that i needed to finish up the law school application, but i decided to tend to the bodybuddy/lifemate instead. it's an interesting situation, because he's a white guy, and we've lived here, like i've said, long enough to know what that means, here. he's been mulling the idea of maybe finding a job in whatever "solving homelessness" is called. he's been seriously considering homelessness, a lot, since we've moved here. 

sometimes a cold, hard awakening is the right kind of awakening

so the end of this thing really came down to the wire on saturday, the last day of week fifteen. 

i sat down at my computer and pooped out all of the in-application questions i needed to answer.

i answered "yes," on two questions, and thusly had to explain myself, &c. 

&then, sunday, week sixteen, day one, i finally fucking pooped out my personal statement and resume *barf*

&it was at the completion of all of these pieces of writing when i realized why i had not been able to poop out another draft of my personal statement, here, on this site. what i realized is that i had to utilize the four pieces of writing to sketch out one larger story, and so, my mind had been chewing on what that story is/should be within the context of applying to law school. 

what my mind revealed to me was, again, my purpose, my reason for even going to law school.

&what is that reason?

in short, i've experienced an extreme amount of experiences for the average person, and these experiences have given me a perspective on life &living that is not the same perspective as those most-common perspectives around us. these experiences have also instilled in me this idea that i should do things for others. i have a long history of volunteering my time. i also have a long history of hourly-wage labor. 

i've jobbed at three companies in two different locations; meaning, i've jobbed for a company and then transferred, within that company, to a different location, three times.

i'm also a dancer, artist, and writer.

the thing i realized i was back-burning was a cohesive story of my life (as if) with the four different areas where i have the opportunity to write. 

&so i did. 

&since i don't know where "the line" is with regards to the university's stance on sharing specific application questions, i can't just upload my personal statement, solo. it wouldn't make much sense. i mean, maybe it would, but i think that it wouldn't be read "correctly" without being able to read my entire application, in whole. my resume, however, is basically already uploaded here. i don't outline my specific odd jobs in that timeline, but maybe i should?

&so, all of the shit for the application was "complete" on sunday, the first day of week sixteen, &then i went to my fucking job for monday. 

on monday morning, after jobbing all night, the bodybuddy/lifemate helped me proofread all of the writing portions, &we read &reread the thing, like, as many times as it took until i quit &said, "Enough! There's nothing more I can do!" i uploaded the required documents, paid the fees,

&there's nothing more anti-climatic than submitting something really serious online. 

that was it. 

it was done.

i barely survived tuesday, &then, while at my job on wednesday, i checked my email around 0530 and saw an 0400 email announcing that the LSAT scores were released. i, obviously, didn't check at my job, &so, when i got home, i couldn't check, for like a few hours. i just couldn't. i just didn't want to know, but i had to confirm that all of the finalized reporting went through &that my application was complete. 

as soon as i logged in, my score was right on the landing page. 

the reason why i crammed the LSAT in so soon was simply so that i could apply by the "Priority Deadline," so that i could be considered for merit-based scholarships, because my GPA (supposedly) qualifies me for some merit-based scholarships but only in conjunction with a high LSAT score. 

i decided before i looked at my score whether or not i would share my score online. i ultimately decided that if i got a "bad" score, i wouldn't want to share it, which means that if i got a "good" score, i shouldn't share it either. if i got a "good" score, i would want to share it, then i would have to share a "bad" score, too. 

i opted for the not-sharing option. 

if you've started to tune into this here broadcast just to find out my LSAT score, you can go fuck yourself. 

i will say this, however, i knew it would be a long shot for me to get a high LSAT score. i did not do well enough for any merit-based scholarships. &i constantly have to remind myself that i am a full-time overnight manager for a 24-hour grocery store. i had planned on simply applying by the official may deadline, but with the opportunity of a merit-based scholarship, i pushed it. if i had waited until may, i also wouldn't have received a merit-based scholarship, because the deadline would've passed, and so, i had to make a decision. i could study a few more months and probably get a higher LSAT score, but miss the scholarship deadline, or i could risk a lower score to rush-study before the deadline.

either way, it looks like the merit-based scholarship is not for me *weeps* 

all of the other aspects of my application were done, over a decade ago. aside from my letter of recommendation from my current boss, everything on my application i did fifteen years ago, including the letter of recommendation from my past professor and past camp coordinator when i was a volunteer counselor for korean heritage camp. 

i realized that, since i couldn't care less (generally speaking) about standardized testing, was working on an eight-week timeline, while jobbing full-time, i had a ceiling for my test score. thus, my personal statement needed to cover a lot of ground. i needed to flesh out what i've been up to for the past decade, but it's a lot of stuff, &so, organizing it all seemed to be the hardest part of it, after all. luckily it all congealed into a nice solid shit on time *lifts left eyebrow* 

to dig up my entire life to present it to be judged by a committee approving me for some thing

*vomits*

anyway, i confirmed, on wednesday, that my application was complete, and that was that. 

i guess that this particular volume of logs is officially complete as well. 

i imagine that the post about whether or not i will be attending law school in the fall will be a thing of its own.

&so, until then, sail on *peace*

ordered some loose-leaf tea from an instagram friend's new business
*swoon*
for myself & a cojobber
i placed the order sometime last week
&it arrived on tuesday
like a present

Withstanding the crushing weight of my own ambition is torture, psychologically speaking.

When
canon eos 4000d w/prime lens
shot in color, black&white in-camera filter applied

Uh, yea, you're goddamn fucking right I have POWER, &lots of it, &if you think that POWER is BESTOWED &that you can somehow waltz in here &we will all acknowledge you as some power-filled entity, &you attempt to wield your non-existent power, think again. This POWER of MINE that you see all over ME is MINE; I earned it, &MY POWER is NON-TRANSFERABLE #facts

On Power

[paraphrased&translated]

"If your technique isn't flawless, you have no technique." —안성재

 

i hope that i can meet this chef someday. his entire approach and mentality throughout the show was just in so much alignment with the way that i think about things, and it made me so happy. mostly, however, i was fascinated by his take on the idea of Korean food.

he bitch-slapped Edward Lee's bibimbap, with good reason, imho. 

to me, 안성재 has a mentality about Korean food that is something like this, "There's no need to 'elevate' Korean food. Korean food is perfect. The way that you 'elevate' Korean food is by understanding where each and every dish comes from within the country. If you understand where the dish emerged, then you will understand why the dish exists, and only through this understanding will you then understand that the most 'elevated' version of any Korean dish is the one that uses ingredients from the location from where the dish emerged." 

안성재 is flexing Korean Power, &i'm all for it. he also doesn't seem to be against fusion, obviously, but don't call it by its Korean dish name, call it something else.

On Unearned Power

i've been mulling the idea of power, for the past week or so, due to a switch up in management at my current place of exploitment, i mean exploitment, dammit, employment. &let's just say that i learned that i am actually far more powerful than i realized, &it's all thanks to my team of taggers. obviously, i cannot be too detailed, at this time, as i am currently jobbing there, &so, i am not interested in "taking anyone down," etc. i'll just say that one of the switch ups came into the store, guns blazing, as if we all needed to be shipped into shape, etc., only to learn that the ship is in shape, &instead of hopping on board, this newbie pinpointed the "person in charge" &for one whole week (technically they've been there for two weeks, but i was away their first week) the one newbie did nothing but try to stir social division throughout the overnight crew by complaining about the way that the "person in charge" has the overnight crew setup and organized, etc. *iroll* each one of these people came to me directly to report on what the newbie was complaining about, because the newbie was complaining about me. 

honestly, i didn't know i was "in charge," &so i did nothing about the newbie, business as usual. clock in, do your job, do it right, and clock out. i heard all of the gossip, but the newbie never said anything to my face, so what was i supposed to do? some personalities are prickly, but if the person is good at the job, what's the problem? i wasn't about to stoop to the newbie's level and complain about the gossip, &so i had nothing to complain about until a tag was moved. it's a process that i can't technically go over, here, cause it's, like, my job, so the actual how-to of my job duties are probably, like, my employer's IP, etc., but i knew exactly who did it, because i know, &so, i made a simple statement about the moved tag to one of the higher-ups, &when i came in on friday, the newbie was clocking out as i clocked in. 

i'll give the newbie one thing, pinpointing power is not always easy, especially in a mixed-power setting, but this newbie targeted me on day one, bravo/a *laugh-cry*

my point is that in most jobplaces the jobbers decide who is in power. sure there is a definitive hierarchy, in most jobplaces, but most people have an interior power structure even as they acknowledge the exterior power structure. i've been an hourly-wage jobber for my entire jobbing career. this is my first job as a manager, &so i know. as an hourly-wage laborer we are the ones who decide, internally, who the "real leader" is, despite whoever the manager-in-title might be.

my biggest gripe about the newbie is that i knew, from the moment i met them, that they had a lot to prove. i was more than ready to give them the space to do just that, but if you're going to come into my jobplace and try to disrupt the no-assholes/no-fools vibe that's been cultivated over the past year and a half i've been in the position, then what the fuck is wrong with you? we all job here, together, every single fucking day. why are you trying to make enemies? &so, really, i feel really lucky right now to be jobbing in a jobplace among other jobbers who didn't take the newbie's bait. the newbie was unsuccessful at dividing us, &in my book, that's a win. 

of course, the newbie could still return to the nightcrew; i don't know the details of their schedule, etc., but i doubt that they'll be back unless or until they can get on board the ship that's currently sailing.

 

On Earned Power 

—"cross me, please"

i am eagerly anticipating JENNIIE's new studio album, RUBY. 

when you travel the world, as an elite, &you realize that you actually are The Shit, by, like, a mile, you change, &instead of trying to be part of the world, like you thought you wanted to be, you decide that you want to Rule the World *cheers*