$UN선$AILOR

this is the Third Desi-Drawing

(the first two i received before i launched this site in this form

but i have them

obviously

they are still packed away

however

with all our documents, etc.)

that i've received in my lifetime

thus far

(i hope!)

&of course

the drawing

itself

is absolutely gorgeous

but also

i do not come across very many people

who can teach me something

not because i am so smart

but rather

because the average person

is quite dumb

&so

to not only bump into

but also have the privilege to get to know

an intelligent young woman

is not something

about which

i have no interest

obviously

&since i am mostly a private person

about things that ought to be kept private

i will simply say

that there is a handwritten note

for me

on the back of this drawing

&the opening words of the note

taught me something

that i hadn't realized i did not know

&this

THIS

this gift of knowledge

is from the young woman

who drew this drawing

Desi

&she is very very young

&i am both stunned

&in awe

of her

because she is basically the most beautiful person

on whom i've laid my own eyes

outwardly speaking

obviously

but look at how beautiful she is

on the inside, too

&when i met her

she was even younger

&she would lament to me

about how people are mean to her

&i knew

that i saw myself in her

the hot

popular genius

(only seen

therefore understood

now

because i can look back)

whom everyone loathed for reasons that were never explained to me

&so

i didn't know what to tell her then

except to wonder

aloud

if she knew that she was Brilliant

&Beautiful

&that people

(high school girls)

were petty as shit

&so

we talked a bit

&in the end

she needed to realize

that she does not need to care about them

&now

here we are

The Hawai'i State Flower | Yellow Hibiscus

[begin preface]

i watched some high-gloss interview* of one Melinda French Gates on uTube,

and in that video-interview,

it is ... obvious ...

that she is on some public-image-creation mission.

why?

she is also in that "ever since i was a kid, i been legit,"^ phase of her life,

and i'm all for it.

[end preface]

[begin prologue]

i will use these three examples: Brains, Beauty, &Money,

for this lame-ass attempt at defining,

cause they are the most-relevant/most-easily grasped definers of Power,

imo.

[end prologue]

THE WHAT

The Frame .... humanity must be conceived of in its entirety, all the time, historically, prehistorically, as a species, when doing intellectual work. Our evolutionary path has not allowed for the idea of "being supported by others." This is not an idea that existed. This is a brand new idea in the historical framework of humanity's entirety. If you cannot support yourself, you die. If you cannot outrun that tiger, you're dead. If you cannot walk this trail for the next three days, we're leaving you behind.

Power

if you are stupid

&i am smart (Brains)

i have more power than you

if you are ugly

&i am beautiful (Beauty)

i have more power than you

if you were born poor

&i rich (Money)

i have more power than you

Privilege

if you are stupid

&i am smart

i am more privileged than you

if you are ugly

&i am beautiful

i am more privileged than you

if you were born poor

&i rich

i am more privileged than you

THE HOW

Obviously, there is nothing that can be done about however you're born. Whatever circumstances you are born into are beyond your control. Everyone is, essentially, born powerless, but the power of the family (or lack thereof) into which you are born sort of encompasses you. Powerful families bear powerful children, to a point, and we'll get back to this, later. Powerless families bear powerless children, to a point, and we'll get back to this, later. Thus, Power is bestowed upon children who remain under the umbrella of their family's Power or lack thereof (uh, you know about Harry&Meghan, right?). Once that child becomes an adult, however, Power is up for grabs, because, for Adults, Power is not bestowed; Power is forged. People accumulate Power (like, we're literally watching this happen in real time through Harry&Meghan *barf*)

You accumulate Power through living your life. This is why the worst children of rich people never grow up. They refuse to get a life and be an adult, cultivate their own power, because they're most-likely, quite stupid and definitely fat-ass lazy, so they'd rather suck off the tit of their family, forever. *blech*

The people you meet, the people who get to learn about who you are are the people who empower you.

Think of the most-Powerful person you interact with in your actual life.

Why are they Powerful? Are they beautiful? Are they smart? Are they rich?

Yes. Probably one or more of the above, right?

That's what I thought.

So, what do you do when you are born-not with Brains, Beauty, or Money? Well, unfortunately, I'm not really here for you, so how did you end up here? My goal, here, with this post, is to empower the already-Power-filled. I happen to be surrounded by an amazing group of kiddos who are all very Power-filled, in their own right, right now. They just don't seem to know it, quite yet, because they are young, and so, I thought that anything that I might say to them to empower them will be useful to anyone who is like them, &they are AWESOME, but they are young.

When you are born with Power, be it in the form of Brains, Beauty, &or Money, your REPUTATION is how you accumulate Power. If you have one of the BBMs, everyone is already looking at you. You have Power. You have their Attention. So, who are you?

Who you choose to be will determine how much Power you will be able to truly accumulate. &If you're Powerful and Privileged enough to be born with one or more of the BBMs, then you have ALL THE POWER to choose who you will be, every single fucking day of your life. Why? Because if you're a Power Possessor of one of the BBMs, nobody is going to stand in your way. So do the thing. Do whatever the fuck you want, always.

The only Winners are the Doers.

This is how you accumulate Power among the powerless.

If you do not possess one of the BBM Powers, it's like I said, I'm not really here for you. I couldn't speak to this type of Power-Accumulation, because I was born Powered and Privileged (along with a whole host of challenges, but nevertheless, Privileged if one does not consider the environment into which I was born, cause, in the end, all orphans are not adopted, &so, I already "hit that jackpot, now I'm ridin' 'round"), and thusly, this is my perspective, and so, I cannot really speak from some other perspective. &Like I said, all of the kiddos possess one or more of the BBM Powers, &I'm here for them #notsorryimnotsorry

THE WIELDER

The very first step to wielding one's Power in a meaningful way is through The Self. It's like the Oracle informs Neo, "Know Thy Self." Understanding who you are is the only way to be You. Otherwise, what's the shape of a life lived by someone who has no understanding about why they do what they do? They're mindless beings just wreaking havoc on the world because they simply do not know why they are doing what they are doing! This is one definition for a misogynist, btw. Fuck you! These types are selfish and lazy. As soon as you are aware of the fact that someone is like this, you stay far away from this person. You cannot change them, but their ignorance will hurt you, so keep a safe distance.

Also, they're powerless.

&There's nothing more dangerous than a power-hunger man who is powerless, but this is not really about that, because who wants to talk about men?

So, if you are a Power Possessor, which you are or else you wouldn't be here, on this site, reading these words, let's be real, then you truly have the RESPONSIBILITY to not only DO MUCH with your life, but also, GIVE. &Yes, this giving will not be returned to you by the person to whom you gave, #facts but you will RECEIVE, at some point, in some shape that will be what you need, because the people to whom you give cannot give back to you in equal measure. Remember this. The Powered &Privileged are just that, Powerful and Privileged, but the reality of the situation, the inequity of life, the "Infinite Jest," is that any single fucking one of us could be born as anyone, ANYONE.

&So, when you hit the figurative "jackpot," you are not special; you are the result of a gamble. Every single fucking one of us is only here by the ROLL OF DICE. There is nothing else but PURE LUCK. You are not inherently "better" than anyone simply because you were born with one of the BBM Powers. You are simply lucky. &When you're lucky, you need to be generous, because you could've been born, just as easily, without any of your Powers &Privileges. IT'S PURE FUCKING LUCK!

&So, you have the responsibility to REMEMBER, because, unfortunately for us,

"To whom much is given, much is expected."

&The expectation is of Greatness, but Greatness has lost all meaning in this Time of Meaninglessness. Greatness has been cast as this thing that can be achieved. But Greatness has nothing to do with anyone else or what anyone else thinks about you. Greatness is the You inside you. Are You Great? Are You striving to do the right thing, or are you out to get everyone? Are You thinking about humanity as a whole, or are you thinking only of yourself? Who are You, on the inside, the You nobody will ever truly know but You.

You're the only one who has to truly live with Yourself. The rest of us can just leave You.

"THERE IS NO SPOON"

&Now, we've arrived at the Tale as Old as Time,

Fucking FATE

That's right, I know you know what I'm talking about, &yes, humanity has been wrestling with this idea for as long as we've been able to conceive of it. To this day, the idea of Fate, Destiny in the face of Free Will, Overlords is a great debate.

The Truth is that yea, You have some sort of Fate, cause Time must unfold over ... time, &so, we're all sort of "destined" for something, you know? But you have a goddamn brain, right? If you don't like your life, use your goddamn brain and change it. Like. Duh. I'm obviously not speaking to those who are born differently-abled (fuck you, Dems!). I do care, IMMENSELY, about disability advocacy, because old age will disable us all &so would even consider myself a disability advocate, but this is not about that, because my lived experience has not been shaped by a physical or mental disability, etc. I have, however, experienced a temporary bout of living with an injury that disabled me for many many years, that I have to still live with to this day, but I am, by no means, "disabled." &This is not about that, &I am actually sorry that this cannot be about that, at this time, cause like, every post can't be about everything. Ugh. Sorry :(

Anyway, yes, we're all on some journey, the Whims of Time, per se, and we all know about the people, the ones on whom Life has just, like, really gotten its hands, you know? They refuse to make any decisions for themselves; they have zero accountability for themselves; they even view themselves as a victim, when the reality of the situation is that they had a full-time job, and then they told their boss that they got some other full-time job, and now they're telling you, their new boss, while crying that "I'm just like, I don't know what I did? They just moved me off the schedule." These are the types who take zero responsibility for their lives, as if they don't have a brain, and so, Fate can create whatever Destiny for them. &Usually, they call themselves "Christians."

But The Reality is that you have a brain. You have a body. You, hopefully, have some money. So, quite literally, you can do whatever the fuck you want with your life, &the ultimate Truth is that if you are one of these people who can DO whatever the fuck you want with your life (maybe not all the time, let's not be megalomaniacs), generally speaking, YOU ARE POWERFUL &PRIVILEGED. You are The Ruler of your own Life. There is no destiny! There is only You and Your Life!

&For as stupid as the average human might seem, humans, in general, are extremely intelligent with regards to social hierarchies, because we are SOCIAL CREATURES.

Thus, when a mere pleb sees You, a self-possessed Power Possessor, they see Power, which means that You are Powerful.

THE RUB

You're not supposed to brag, &yet the cries of the underprivileged are demanding exactly that ... to "check your privilege" is to speak aloud, or at least identify within yourself your privileges. But how do you reconcile this with the idea that one is not "supposed" to brag or think highly of one's self. To acknowledge your privilege means that you're admitting your position in this life. Yea, I'm smart. Yea, I'm hot. Yea, I'm rich. But this sort of acknowledgement can easily be contorted into a brag, an egoistic proclamation about how "great" one is, &so, what the people who demand this "check" on one's "privilege" fail to understand is that it's a bad demand. It's superficial and gross.

The real question, the real ask is to convince everyone that you are aware of Your Powers &Privileges, but that you don't really care about them, but you definitely fucking know how to wield them, all at the same time, because that's who You are. It is not who you are trying to be. It is WHO YOU ARE.

Enter Melinda French Gates.

She's fucking nailing this on the head. We, as Powerful &Privileged women, can learn a lot about the way that she's making herself public to the Public. She understands the task and the risk. She's the whole package.

The Task is, obviously, to be Everything and to be Perfect. She's Brains and Beauty. And she's fucking RICH AS BALLS. She knows this, and even though she may or may not shrug off being "perfect," she's fucking smart enough to know that she doesn't have a choice. She's walking the tight rope, as we speak, and we, as women, should all be very very grateful that she is choosing to be this person.

If a person exists who MUST do what she is doing, right now, it is Melinda French Gates. She is Power-Filled &Privileged OUT THE ASS. &Honestly, the timing is kind of amazing. &Obviously, she knows this.

I, too, figured out a sort of Power Position for myself not too long ago, &it really seems like a good fit. These moves that French is making, right now, is only affirming my hunch. &I am truly truly grateful.

THE END