I've been working through a lot of things, and one of the biggest continuing struggles is the voice of my second mother (I have three mothers, and I don't speak to any of them because they literally and figuratively do not know how to speak to me) ...
more than a few times, my second mother left a comment on my old photography site FIND.YUMMY.LOVE. (on wordpress), here's a little sample ::
"why would you post that?"
"you're on a couch? who cares about this?"
more than a few times, my second mother left a comment on my old writing site Lady Polarity (on wordpress), here's a little sample ::
"why can't you write about anything happy?"
"who would care about this?"
"can't this have a happy ending?"
one time, when i had an fbook account, my second mother left a comment on one of my posts ::
"who would care about that? why would you care about that?"
Let's just say, my willingness to speak to my second mother has been dwindling for most of my life.
And this was all basically once I was a grown-ass adult, in "public," so I'll go ahead and let you imagine what she said to me in private, cause I don't have the stomach to re-trodden what's already been re-trodden, because my point is that of encouragement.
Yes, I've had to basically hide from my second mother on the internet, because she has been, for the entirety of my online existence, my one and only bully. And so, if it seems like I've been hiding (changing websites, changing handles on my socials, etc., etc., &c.), it is because I have been hiding from my internet bully, my second mother.
My point, however, is that you don't have to speak to anyone you don't want to speak to, and I'm not fucking hiding anymore.
It's that simple.
If someone is not treating you the way that you want to be treated, leave that dick, ass, cunt, etc.
If someone is emotionally beating you down so intensely that you can't even post a simple set of pictures, like I have posted below, ditch that bitch (men can be bitches, too).
Life's waaaayyy too fucking short to be emotionally beaten down by someone you can easily cut out of your life (and I am not speaking about women who suffer at the hands of violent men, this is not that).
This is pinpointing your bully and freeing yourself from them so that you can be yourself in your life. No, of course this is not about posting to the internet, but I like to post to the internet, and so, if someone is prohibiting you from doing what you want because they're discouraging rather than encouraging, I am encouraging you now to do that thing you love and want to do so badly, and ditch that bitch!
Fuck those who do not create. Their opinions are worthless to you.
Bubye.
"You ain't worth my love if you only love to hate me"
